Archive for the ‘compassion’ Tag
Messy Compassion, Inconvenient Grace
Filed under: By Nan Kuhlman, Christian Living, Love, Relationships | Tags: compassion, Grace, pardon, unmerited pardon
Comments (4) 
I’m in the throes of wrapping up another semester in my role as an adjunct instructor of composition at a nearby community college. This semester has felt very long to me, as well as to my students. On top of contending with the dark days of winter, it seems as if my students have been plagued by a host of illnesses, money troubles, job issues, deaths, and family problems, not to mention being overwhelmed with the demands of a college education.
As a result, I’ve been faced with extending compassion and grace far beyond what my syllabus says is necessary or perhaps even prudent. Many times it has been inconvenient and downright messy for me to do so, but it also seemed very right. In addition, I have very much needed grace and patience from my students, given the extraordinary number of them that I have this semester and my struggles to get graded essays back in a timely fashion. And they have extended that grace to me.
I don’t know why this aspect of grace and compassion surprises me. If the need for grace and compassion wasn’t surrounded by inconvenient and untimely circumstances, then it wouldn’t be grace – it would simply be a neat, transactional favor that could be repaid. Grace cannot be repaid. According to an old definition I’ve heard, it is “unmerited pardon.” While I always focused on the “unmerited” part in the past, I think now I’m more intrigued by the aspect of pardon.
The idea of pardon acknowledges that every person is doing the best that they can, given their personal makeup and circumstances, and while their best may fall short of my definition (or yours), by extending this unmerited pardon, I am accepting them where they are.
This seems right to me, not because it makes my life easier, but because it seems as if that is what the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have done for us. As a recipient of their grace and compassion, I know how good it feels to have my efforts, no matter how meager, acknowledged for being the best I could do at the time.
I’m counting down the classes to the end of the semester (and counting down the essays I have yet to grade), yet I reflect on the messiness and inconvenience that have been a part of this school season. By extending grace to others, I have seen a glimpse of the messiness I have brought to the Triune God. In return, I’ve been blessed with acceptance and love, and that’s what makes it possible for me to extend the same to others.
~by Nan Kuhlman
BUSTED!
Filed under: Bible, By Bill Winn, Christian Living, Church, Evangelism, Gospel, Grace Communion International, Humor, Love, Ministry, Perichoresis, Relationships, Scripture Paraphrases, Sermons, The Plan of Adoption, Trinity, Worship | Tags: accusers, adultery, Bill Winn, compassion, Forgiveness, Grace, Grace Communion International, Judgment, Love, redemption, Richmond Grace Fellowship, Sin
Comments (6) The four Gospels of the New Testament record many of the sayings and teaching of Jesus. We are gifted with a partial transcript of his wisdom, humor, correction, insight, and compassion. One of my favorites is the statement Jesus made to a woman who had been caught in the act of something punishable by death. We find it in John 8 and many, I am confident, are somewhat familiar with the story. You see there was this ongoing attempt by the religious leaders of the day to try and trip up Jesus, to discredit him, and to have him killed the latter of which Jesus submitted to when the time for his sacrificial death drew near.
So in John 8 here they come, the “religion police”, dragging with them a woman caught right in the act of adultery. As you might expect this scene drew a crowd as many wanted to see what would become of her. At the time this all took place adultery was punishable by death. This woman was busted and in real trouble!
“Neither do I condemn you”
The religious leaders were hoping to trick Jesus into going against the law of their land thus discrediting him and putting him in mortal jeopardy.
Well, I venture a guess that if the religious leaders of the day had known and believed that Jesus really was the Eternal Son of the Father, the Creator and Sustainer of all things, and the Messiah they would not have been so silly as to try and trick him.
When they brought the woman caught in the act of adultery to him Jesus masterfully handled the situation. He looked at her accusers and wrote in the dirt saying, “Let anyone among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” By the way where was the man with whom she’d done this act? Perhaps religious misogynism is a good future blog topic. Many scholars believe that what Jesus wrote in the dirt was some of the sins of the woman’s accusers, we really don’t know for sure but what we do know is that Jesus made a way to spare this woman’s life. Jesus took up her cause and defended her. This is greatly important to us as we read of the life and ministry of Jesus but what he actually said to this woman is, I think, most significant.
After her accusers left Jesus said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Is there no one left to condemn you? She answered, “No one Lord.” Then Jesus replied to her with the most stunning news she could have heard from the Son of God… “Then neither do I condemn you… go and stop this sin.” That is the word of the Lord to us, “Neither do I condemn you!”
Jesus himself said that he did not come into the world to condemn it but that through him the whole world might be saved. If you blow it this week, if you have already blown it, if there is a behavior or action in your life that you know is poison then knock it off but know this… no matter what Jesus does not condemn! Jesus redeems, Jesus heals, Jesus loves, Jesus brings to bear in your life the very Triune life of God that he has shared with his Father and the Holy Spirit from all eternity. So while others may condemn us and pass judgment on us the One who really matters is Jesus and he says, “Neither do I condemn you!”
~Bill Winn
The Chicago NATO Summit: Can We All Get Along?
Filed under: By Nan Kuhlman, Relationships, Uncategorized | Tags: Chicago, compassion, interconnectedness, NATO, Rodney King, Walt Disney
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This past weekend, my husband and I celebrated our wedding anniversary in downtown Chicago. It’s a favorite getaway place for us, but this weekend, the tone of the city was very different.
If we had been in tune with the political news, we would have realized that the reason we enjoyed such light traffic traveling into the city was because the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO) was having an important summit in Chicago, and many downtown businesses were closed, fearing that demonstrators opposed to NATO would turn violent.
We finally noticed that something was askew when we saw Secret Service agents roaming through our hotel, eventually greeting us with a metal-detecting wand and a search of my purse each time we exited the elevator to our floor. Security, in the form of security guards and police officers, was overwhelming. As I walked down Michigan Avenue, police and roadblocks were everywhere, preparing just in case any peaceful demonstration ended up ugly.
If fear had a smell to it, Chicago would have reeked of fear this past weekend. Although the extra security should have made me feel safer, it actually made me more ill at ease and fearful. Then I had a moment of clarity in front of the Disney store.
Words of wisdom from Walt (Disney, that is). Engraved on the wall just outside the doors of the Michigan Avenue Disney store are these words: “The things that we have in common far outnumber and outweigh those that divide us.” Whether we know it or not, every human being is connected. In moments of frustration and misunderstanding, it is easy to focus on the issues that divide us, but the reality is that we are all special creations of the Triune God, equipped with abilities and skills and talents that are needed in our world now.
The show of force in Chicago this past weekend reminded me of the Los Angeles riots of April 1992, sparked by the beating of Rodney King. King’s famous quote “…Can we all get along?” offers wisdom similar to the Walt Disney quote. When we dwell on negative issues, we bathe ourselves in negativity and fear, and while we think we are working for our own good, unfortunately, fear never brings about “good.” By trying to “get along” and seeing others as our brothers and sisters, we recognize that there is an equal potential for good or evil in every one of us. This potential for both good and evil is another commonality we share, and it demands a sincere compassion for others.
Author Mark Nepo offers an interesting perspective on what true compassion requires:
Compassion is a deeper thing that waits beyond the tension of choosing sides. Compassion, in practice, does not require us to give up the truth of what we feel or the truth of our reality. Nor does it allow us to minimize the humanity of those who hurt us. Rather, we are asked to know ourselves enough that we can stay open to the truth of others, even when their truth or their inability to live up to their truth has hurt us (The Book of Awakening 129).
Despite the tension that enveloped Chicago over the weekend, we were able to enjoy the city, believing the truth that Secret Service agents, demonstrators, police officers, and store clerks were all our brothers and sisters sharing that experience together. Although there is no quick fix for the problems that NATO was sorting through, I think the wisdom of Walt Disney and Rodney King reveals that a solution is possible, but it would require a dramatic shift in the way we view each other and the world. Recognizing our interconnectedness with each other and the Triune God and having compassion for one another are the first steps toward removing fear as our primary means for achieving peace.
~by Nan Kuhlman
Carrying Another’s Burden
Filed under: By Nan Kuhlman, Christian Living, Love, Relationships, Trinity | Tags: carrying other's burdens, compassion, love and other drugs, Parkinson's disease, sickness, trials
Comments (7) I was working with one of my Basic Composition students whom I’ll call Tom. The rest of the class had left, and we were plugging through how to organize an expository essay when he began to elaborate on his health issues.
I listened as he told me about the progressive brain disease where his brain is continuing to shrink, and his life expectancy is dwindling to maybe 15 more years. Tom is 34.
When faced with the suffering or problems of others, our first instinct is to fix them. While it might be motivated by compassion, our unwillingness to watch others suffer might also be linked to our own unwillingness to suffer with them. It is hard for us to love someone who is hurting (physically or emotionally) because that puts us in pain, too. So we work like crazy to make them better.
Our “help” can take the form of nagging (my personal specialty) or unwanted or unasked for advice (another talent of mine). We are unable to rest with the hurting person and just listen, providing the comfort of presence that reminds them that they’re not alone.
In the movie “Love and Other Drugs,” the character Jamie (played by Jake Gyllenhaal) is a pharmaceutical rep who inadvertently falls in love with an artist named Maggie (Anne Hathaway) who has early onset Parkinson’s disease. Once he realizes the implications of this disease for their relationship, he is desperate to find a cure. He flies Maggie to see a number of specialists, and in one part of the story where they have flown in to see a specialist only to find out their appointment was rescheduled, he loses it with the receptionist and creates a scene.
You see, Jamie could only love Maggie if there was hope for a cure, at least at this point in the movie. It hurt too much to endure her pain with her.
In Galatians 6:2, we’re told to “Share their burdens, and so complete Christ’s law” (The Message). We’re not told to fix them or change them, but to share in their heartache and their misfortunes. Sooner or later, we will need someone to share our problems, too.
The good news in this bleak picture is twofold. First, it’s not up to us to fix everyone’s problems or illnesses. It is helpful to realize that we are limited, that God is not limited, and that He’s keeping an eye on everything so there’s no need to worry. Next, we have a Triune God who loves us in the midst of our mess and our brokenness and who isn’t afraid to sit with us in it. The Father, Son, and Spirit are not put off by our problems. If anything, they are willing to sit with us because they know it will all turn out OK. They have chosen to make it that way.
So as I listened to my student Tom tell me his questions of “why me?” and his concerns for the future, I managed to keep quiet. I laid my well-intentioned advice to the side, and I sat with him while he bore his health burden. I’d like to think my attention, my reflective listening (I did my best), and my presence offered comfort and reassurance. I’d like to think that Jesus was sitting with us, in the midst of Tom’s mess, reminding us both that we’re never forsaken, never left alone.
~Nan Kuhlman